Category: wordplay

“iPhone 4 S” – Sorry, iPhone for WHAT!?…

I’m giving away a free gate. Honestly, there’s no catch.

I see the IRA planted a 600 pound bomb up in N.I. When will they learn? They’re just so senseless. I mean I could have got them one for 99 quid.

A bloke tried to convince me he was a ghost today. But I saw right through him.

I’m really confused. I bought a home grow kit from Amsterdam and after following all the instructions nothing grew. It just doesn’t make sensi.

My girlfriend just told me I’ve gone power mad. I was baffled, all I could say was “Watt?”

When I married my wife, I took an oaf.

The doctor just told me that I’m partially deaf, which was difficult to hear.

I broke up with my girlfriend when I caught her in bed with another man. I wasn’t too bothered about the cheating, it was finding out she was a man that got to me.

Whenever I get in trouble, I pull out my trump card. Uncle Donald usually knows what to do.

A friend of mine has a degree in Black History. He’s a darkieologist.

I saw a man walking along the street with a t-shirt that said ‘Free Hugs’. I don’t know who ‘Hugs’ is, but I’m all behind your release.

I bet Lord Voldemort uses Twitter but not Facebook because he only has followers, not friends.

I’ve just vomited on my fitness instructor. I’m always sick on coaches.

My mate was telling me last night that his racing dog went lame and had to be put down. I said, “Whippet?” He said, “No, I think they just used some drugs to put it to sleep.”