Category: wordplay

To be healthier in 2012, I’m going to drink 3.14 coffees a day. It’s all about the Pi Lattes.

I told my girlfriend I’d booked her an appointment with the psychiatrist. ‘Why have you done that?!’ she exclaimed. I said, ‘You told me the way I take everything you say literally was driving you crazy.’

I tried out for the hairdresser’s football team yesterday. There was a lot of great highlights, but I didn’t quite make the cut.

Went to see a pantomime about the Alphabet… turned out to be a word play.

I’ve given my wife a pet name Rover.

BBC NEWS: “Heskey to miss next 4 games over knee injury” Once again we find the words “Heskey” and “miss” in the same sentence…

I’ve just been warned about some Italian domestic graffiti artists. Apparently, they’ll tagliatelle.

‘Millions wasted’ on gift cards. Since when have Oddbins been selling gift cards?

Some people will never change. Like a nun, same clothes everyday.

You are what you eat they say. Funny how my missus loves monster munch.

The more disappointing counterpart of the house wine is the flat beer.

I’ll tell you what really makes my girlfriend wet. Water.

I put all my chips on 17 black at the casino last night. Thats when they called for the manager and said I wasn’t allowed to bring food to the roulette table.

I was so excited earlier when I had a Royal Flush in my hands. I thought, “I love working in the sewer under Buckingham palace.”

I like the word “or”. Its short, simple and to the point. Alternatively…