Category: wordplay

My girlfriend always insists on being on top. Which is annoying when the bus isn’t a double decker.

After a week in jail, I broke out. What’s the best cure for acne?

I was recently reading a book on how to control your over confidence issues. Soon realised I was above it.

Ashley Cole is blaming Carlo Ancelotti on his latest front page antics. After missing his penalty against everton he misheard when he was told to work on his shoot-out.

In my first driving test I got three minors and a major… The soldier was fine but the kid’s parents were mortified.

A pink, two headed kangaroo just flew into my room and said she wants a divorce because me and my army of fish fingers have lost our grasp on reality.

At my school every student smokes pot before school. That way no one misses out on higher education.

I went to see a river in Germany the other day but there was rubbish and pollution in it. It was Volga.

After my divorce, I realised that poker isn’t the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.

I was in Minneapolis the other day … Until Mr. Apolis returned home unexpectedly.

I got a horse racing App for my phone. You’ve got to train the horse Android it.

We still haven’t found a solution to climate change, but we’re getting warmer.

“Man dies of heart attack after having his car stolen” He had a Carjack arrest.

I’ll tell you who isn’t playing FIFA 12, and that’s Richard Dawkins. He’s a Pro-Evolution man.

Well, I’ve seen the lot now. And after viewing it, I decided it wasn’t worth bidding for.