Category: wordplay

There’s been talk at the circus of making our extreme knife throwing act redundant. I’m currently facing the axe.

I’ve just got back from a milf hunting lads holiday in Reykjavik. Turns out mums don’t go to Iceland.

It’s so busy during my early morning taxi shift, I’m always dropping off.

My wife is painting our hallway today, she’s struggling a bit with the front door though, that’s where I come in.

My mate told me he had every noise ever made on his ipod and that I could borrow it if I wanted Now I’ve heard everything

I took a few minutes off from serving in a restaurant to make a phone call. I got the message, “The person at the other end knows that you are waiting.” Spooky.

I witnessed a bloke with a Play-doh stencil set, being escorted out of a nightclub by the bouncers. He had been making shapes on the dance floor.

BBC news: Johnny Melfah posted Facebook messages urging a raid on the Apple store in Worcester. At least he was encouraging something healthy.

Promised my mum that I’ll never end up working in the prison kitchen herb garden again. I’ve served my thyme.

What is a Mole? A Vole on crutches.

I told the epileptic kid at school a joke. He was in fits.

Why do black men always finish sentences with `innit’ ? Surely they should finish their sentences with deportation.

I dropped a clanger at work today. They fired me from the bell foundry.

Why did the person who invented Microsoft Powerpoint cross the road? To get to the other slide.

So i heard this new E-coli disease causes major problems to your digestive system and kidneys… Gutted.