Category: wordplay

Seaside towns, are they all judged by their piers?

I got a deep throat off my girlfriend for the first time yesterday, There’s a gag in there somewhere.

I helped an immigrant slip past customs today I stuck my foot out when he tried to make a run for it.

My career as a janitor has opened a lot of doors for me.

My mate said “I’m a lover not a fighter!” I replied “So a rapist not a murderer then?”

BBC News: IBM produces first ‘Brain Chips’ Call me old fashioned, but I’m sticking with potato ones.

NEWS-“Knox killed room-mate” ….if only they’d had a spare key…

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff? Tequila.

When I went on holiday I took a case full of 70s bawdy comedy films, it was my Carry On luggage.

My washing machine is broke. It can’t even afford fabric softener.

I was going to change my toaster , but i thought …”Better the Breville you know”

My friend said he’s going to set a new standard in pubs by opening one on the top of a mountain. Personally, I think he’s raised the bar too high.

I did a bit of cross dressing this morning. The vicar said it really brightened up the church.

What do you call tents that can’t be erected? Impotents !

I became famous for my research into the effects of hanging upside down, but it all went straight to my head.