Category: wordplay

Sky News : ‘At Least 12 Die In China Factory Blast’. There must have been plates, cups and bowls everywhere.

I threw my clock in the bin today What a waste of time

Just ate a virtual pizza, Finished it in 4 Bytes.

My car alarm went off before. I didn’t even know there was a best before date on it.

I’ve got this friend that loves to singing gospel music and rhythm and blues. I like to think of him as my soul mate.

I’ve just received a doctors appointment regarding my constipation. Unfortunately I can’t go.

I bought some mint shampoo today. It’s not that good.

I’ve opened a shop at the base of a cliff We sell items at rock bottom prices.

My Mum was a vengeful ophthalmologist Eye for an eye…

Women don’t know the meaning of hard work. My wife phoned me to tell me she was in ‘labour’ but when I got to the hospital she was just lying in bed.

I had a smashing meal the other night Went to a Greek restaurant

My wife is Jinxed. Ironically, she’s as unlucky as her name suggests.

When my girlfriend was getting into the car, her tights ripped. So I gave her the fan-belt

My wife told me she was leaving me because im immature. So I told her to:- Say ‘Eye’ Spell ‘M.A.P’ and Say ‘Ness’ Oh you should have seen her face.

It’s funny how “shocking” and “stunning” carry the same meaning. Except when commenting on someone’s appearance.