Category: wordplay

I have a reputation for selling the best Ketamine. That’s straight from the horse’s mouth.

My grandfather got arrested for poaching yesterday, Which Is strange as he’s always had his eggs that way.

I think my girlfriend has got thrush, In fact… scratch that

I think that if Apple started making footwear, it would cause some major iShoes.

Since my Trepanation I have become a lot more open minded

My wife has told me as soon as our first baby is born, sacrifices will have to be made. I suppose we’ll start with the baby.

I saw this worm in my back garden, so I stepped on what I thought was it’s head. That was the end of it.

I wrote a poem about being skint today. It’s called ‘owed to a debt collector.’

I was waiting for the number sixty nine bus this morning. Who would have thought it? Two came together.

Life as a sink can be draining.

I’d been stalking this woman for six months when she went to the police, so last night I slipped her a canap laced with Rohypnol. I bet she never thought I’d get in first with the restraining hors d’oeuvre.

Sky news – Marksmen Speak At Barrister’s Inquest. Mark wasn’t present.

I’ve gone off them a bit now but there was a time when I used to really dig graves.

I just bought some epileptic curtains. They came with free fitting.

I have developed the ability to play board games, telepathically. The mind Boggles.