Category: wordplay

Chatting up a bird last night and she asked me what I was like in bed. “I’m like life” I said. “what, like a box of chocolates?” she giggled “I never know what I’m gonna get?” “No. Too short.”

racism. its a colorful word.

I just met a really depressed worm. He had lost his other half.

What do you call someone who’s always late for work? Mr. Buss

I bought a specially made book on bondage techniques. It’s bound to work.

BBC News: Jones wants to be first minister Hate to break it to him, but he’s a bit late on that one

I’m hard at work! Hopefully my boss doesn’t notice my erection

My new book ‘About turtles’ is out. Only in hardback.

I think I’ve finally discovered why my Piano playing is so bad. Fingers crossed.

I watched a program about the mechanics of a sponge the other day. It was absorbing.

I’ve found it’s a lot easier to pick up women since I’ve been on the steds.

Why do nudists hate salads? Because they don’t like dressing.

Whenever I quickly turned my car headlights on and off at someone, I got a flashback.

Where do ships go when they’re ill? The docks.

Adoption jokes – There’s never a good time to tell them.