Category: wordplay

I’m regretting telling my fit neighbour that I would sort her roofing problem. I just can’t facia.

What do stroke victims and halfcasts have in common? Only half works.

CASE just CASE That’s just incase…

“Every dog has its day!” “Look, I told you I don’t want to buy a Battersea calendar.”

My French boss never thanks me for anything. He’s merciless.

Music scholars have found interesting new details about one of Beethoven’s early scores. She was eighteen years old and worked in the bakery.

What do you call an Australian who makes wooden toilets? Lou Carpenter.

Just got caught at customs, trying to smuggle drugs in my bra…. 36 E’s. Good job they didn’t find the crack in my knickers…

I was run over by a train the other day. Guess I shouldn’t have worn a tracksuit.

My stupid dog is always fetching things for me that I don’t want. I get a lot of stick for it.

What’s black and gets abused 24/7 on social networking sites? Punctuation

Top News: “Murder-accused ‘bought saw’” I am worried now, he buys one DVD and gets accused of murder, I have just bought the whole box-set.

I was going to listen to Slipknot – Before I Forget…but I forgot.

My son made it to the final of the model railway championships. Unfortunately he lost it on points.

I don’t trust windows I can see straight through them