Category: wordplay

BBC news: England team given Delhi go-ahead Thats nice, feeding them.

What do we want? To be precise! When do we want it? Half past seven, tomorrow night at Grimsby Tesco car park. Wear a red jumper and some jeans. Bring a packed lunch because there’s going to be some team building exercises.

I just took a photo of my mate doing an El Hadji Diouf impression. It was a spitting image.

The juices of creativity are flowing…I would clean it up but Mum will be home soon anyway

After looking for a portable shelter in Spain, I eventually found the right one. I’m finally content!

I went to Billy Haley’s Chip shop the other night. “I said what fish have you got”. He said we’ve got “Skate, Haddock and Sole”.

My window cleaner never knocks on my door in the evenings demanding money. It just sits in the cupboard under the sink.

OK so today I got an old copy of The Sun, I cut out a picture of Ricky Hatton and stuck it to my TV screen. I’ve been watching for about an hour now and I gotta say I’m really not impressed with this paper view boxing.

I was having a conversation with some of my body parts, when one of them shouted “Look in the sky, pigs are flying!” I couldn’t believe my eyes.

De. That’s not even half decent.

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. “Just make sure it’s nice.” she said. Biscuits it is then.

I’ve decided to move onto the next stage in my career. That’s just the way it is when you’re a Theatrical Designer.

“Trick or treat.” “Both. Enjoy these sweets.” Laced with rohypnol.

I served a kid in the shop I work in today. His dad took my tennis racket and phoned the police.

Thousands of Blackberrys have crashed. I bet that caused a jam.