Category: wordplay

MSN News: “Paralympic cyclist in hit and run”. Yeah, rub it in, why don’t you?

‘Roy Hodgson appointed England Manager’. I think it’s a really good thing. But then I am Scottish.

My mate said, “How did you know I like narrating?” I said,”You tell me”

I’ve just joined the new Social Networking site where you have to upload pictures of blacks and asians set on fire. It’s called Racecook.

I asked my girlfriend if I could give her one, she said ‘Sure, be my guest’. So I gave her 0.2 instead.

I just bought a mini cooper. He makes these brilliant little wooden barrels.

I have now played over 500 football matches for my club but have failed to score in any of them. The other players just don’t fancy me.

What do you call a bunch of priests in swimming trunks? Spaedos

BBC News: US to push $60bn Saudi arms sale. Wonder how much they’ll give me for my legs.

The wife thought it was a bad idea for me to fist her in my pirate costume. Now she’s hooked.

Any ladies want to come round to mine tonight for a dinner date? I’m making rohypnol chicken…you won’t be able to resist me afterwards.

After months of begging, I finally agreed to send my son to camp America this Summer. I’ve just booked him a flight to San Francisco.

What’s the difference between a shed and a hut? A shed didn’t order the execution of Luke Skywalker.

“007, listen carefully, I have some fantastic Hi-Tech trainers for you.” “OK, what do they do?” “Erm nothing, but they were cheap.”

When Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech goes to his hometown bank to have his cheques looked over by the black girl who works there: Choc Czech chick checks Czech Cech’s Czech cheques.