Category: wordplay

BBC News – “Five-a-day will not cut cancer”. It will for me… …I’d normally smoke 40.

Irony is the feel of an ironed shirt.

Do you think people from Norfolk realise the irony that Sister is an anagram of resist?

Obama compared the BP oil spill to 9/11. So in Obama terms can i compare my burnt toast to Hiroshima?

I’ve just bought this new glue that dries super quickly. I think it might contain Shergar.

I can see into the future, but only good things. I’m an optimystic.

I got wrongfully arrested yesterday for stealing a poppy. They tried to pin it on me.

On the up side, there is a ceiling.

Tributes are FLOODING in for PC Bill the bobbing bobby Barker.

I won a bet with my mate that I could squash all the juice out of a citrus fruit in one go It was easy peasy lemon squeazy.

My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I kept telling people about her personal life. But she’s had trust issues ever since she found out she was adopted.

My whole world has just fell too pieces. Or the playstation is broke as the wife calls it.

I went to the Royal Albert Hall once, but it was full of push-chairs, It was Last Night of the Prams.

Let me introduce you to the two major tools that were used to free the miners. Firstly, there was this huge airtight tube… And, well, you know the drill.

In the News: ‘Man chokes to death on pudding’ …obviously a dessert not to be trifled with.