Give a man food and he wi …
Give a man food and he will eat well, give a man the ingredients and he will get a women to cook it for him.
Continue ReadingGive a man food and he will eat well, give a man the ingredients and he will get a women to cook it for him.
Continue ReadingI really would kill to be a necrophiliac.
Continue ReadingI just tried to download a tv program from the internet, but when I opened the video it was just a voice shouting obscenities at me. It was a torrent of abuse.
Continue ReadingI’m part of the Warburtons family because I’m inter-bread.
Continue ReadingThis girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club. I was confused, I’d never met herbivore.
Continue ReadingMe and my mate went to the work fancy dress party last night when we instantly saw the office geek dressed up as one of the evil army from ‘Lord of the Rings” We saw him coming towards us and agreed we both wouldn’t speak to him. ”Hey guys!” He shouted, bounding towards us. An […]
Continue ReadingI was helping the behavioral scientist from next door, get his trailer on the drive. “You’re doing it all wrong,” I said, “left is right and right is left.” I hate reversing a psychologist.
Continue ReadingI don’t get all the hate for chubby chasers. Some of us just prefer performing under pressure.
Continue ReadingI wanted to propose to my girlfriend over the phone. So I gave her a ring.
Continue ReadingAfter a day of gorging myself on pies, I gained 3.14 pounds. I guess you really are what you eat.
Continue ReadingI’ve finally discovered the meaning of life. Dictionaries are so helpful
Continue ReadingJust bought myself a barge pole. Thought I’d push the boat out.
Continue ReadingAfter being diagnosed with a terminal illness, my wife said I should get my affairs in order. So I’m seeing Anne on Monday, Christine on Tuesday and Denise on Wednesday.
Continue ReadingGirl guide knocks on my doors and offered me cookies. I told her I couldn’t pay in cache.
Continue ReadingMany areas in Africa are very thinly populated.
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