Category: wordplay

People ask me why I work in a minimum wage job at the air conditioning factory. I do it for the fans.

Turf Wars The Irish version of snowball fights.

My Korean friend died last week. So Yung…

My last night out was like something out of Star Wars. I met this girl in the pub. I really wanted to Leia, but she wouldn’t even give me a Chewie. So I just went home for a Hand Solo.

Isn’t it odd that the the human mind doesn’t register the the fact that “the” was used twice each time in this sentence?

Shakespeare told his mate, “I’m going to stop writing plays, I’m going to concentrate on poetry instead. His mate said, “You’re just going from bard to verse.”

‘I lost an innuendo tournament in the second round at the weekend. But at least I managed to knock one out.’

My dodgy mate is charging people to see his trench, sand bags and gun turrets. I think its a front.

I find it utterly abhorant when quotations are attributed to the wrong person. It not only cheapens the the impact of the quote, but it takes something from us all as humans and leaves us poorer as a race of beings – Wayne Rooney.

What kind of murderer has moral fibre? A cereal killer.

i think this chickens on the turn, its wearing lipstick.

My friend was giving me an amazing lecture about how he’d got rid of most of the area on his chairs. Really had me on the edge of my seat.

I let a jamacian cut and style my hair. It looks dreadful.

Whenever I took some shots at the pub, my mates started calling me a weirdo. So I grabbed my camera and my stand then went elsewhere.

I have moved all the time pieces in my house to different locations. Later, I must remember to put the clocks back.