Category: wordplay

I bought some pig swill off a farmer on ebay that made all my swines ill. Had to give him bad feedback.

I’ve heard they’re developing a new high budget game called Diarrhoea, but Its super secret and they wont give any details out. I really hope it gets leaked.

I’ve decided to pitch my new programme idea in the Dragon’s Den. It’s where I go around mugging homeless people to see how much money they have… It’s going to be called Cash in the Addict.

BBC news headline: “Woman killed in South Yorkshire flat ‘drowned in bath’” What a pointless trip from South Yorkshire to Bath just to drown a dead woman.

Incest, Now thats something I can relate to

There was a kidnapping in my town today. She slept for 4 hours.

Why did the neutrino cross the road? To see itself on the other side.

I perform arguably the best stand up in the world… Straight up.

God I hate advertising. have you seen what Orange have done to Cheryl?

When I couldn’t remember the name of the dog in The Wizard Of Oz, my wife started giving me clues. I soon put To and to together.

What’s 6 inches long and likes a good pound? A piggy bank.

Once every two weeks I sleep under my sofa cushions, it’s a fort night

My mum has a phobia about African toes. I think she’s black toes intolerant.

I was on a charity obstacle course race with my wife when she fell, hit her head and died whilst attempting to climb over a wall. I got over it.

50 Cent’s real name is Arthur Dollar.