Category: wordplay

If you’re a Frenchman in the bedroom, then what are you in the bathroom? European.

I walked up to the cheese counter in Asda last week. I interrupted him and he had to start again.

I made a Freudian Slip once. It was so popular, Anne Summers commisioned me to design a range.

There were 3 possible burial sites for Osama Bin Laden. CIA only refer to these sites as A, B and C. Apparently he was buried at C.

I was just chased by a group of vegan satanists. Must be the children of the quorn.

Cataracts – You don’t see them anymore

I was out with the mates last night. We each dropped a rohypnol at my place for a laugh.

This is the best way to stop a disobedient German dog…. Hands down

I was paralysed from the waist down after eating a lemon slice. I’ll never buy anything again from Mr Kripling

I managed to get the most magnificent bird to come to my house the other day. I think it was the trail of breadcrumbs that did it.

I finally found an honest mechanic. He honestly doesn’t know how to fix anything.

I’ve just got some of my hair dyed, it was the highlight of my day.

English grammar? That’s as easy as counting two three.

I was at a funeral early on today, though sad as it was there was lots to do and even a band to celebrate their send off! I’d say I had a pretty eventful mourning

A girl who I had a huge crush on at school just smiled as she walked past me in Tesco struggling with her trolley. I was going to go and ask her out, but I didn’t want to push it.