Category: wordplay

My son is doing a school project on battery farming and he asked me for some help. I know nothing about it though, I thought that batteries were man-made.

My mate couldn’t wait to get his widescreen TV. I said, “Are you going to mount it?” He said, “I’m not that excited.”

I am Loaded. Why are my pages stuck together?

Roy Wood (of Wizzard) and Ronnie Wood (The Stones) are getting together to form The Splinter Group.

If you take an ‘n’ from nonsense, it makes no sense.

Since the start of the recession I’ve been trying to make every penny count. They still haven’t learned.

I was sitting with my mate Tom from Australia as we stayed up late watching the cricket. Tom pulled a bottle of beer out of the fridge and came up to me and asked “Mate have you got an opener?” To which I replied “Yeah two great ones, how about you?”

Law Of Reverse Dynamics: . When A Man Becomes Rich He Becomes Naughty & When A Woman Becomes Naughty. ……She Becomes Rich

As I’ve got older, I’m now into soft rock. The hard stuff plays havoc with my dentures.

BBC News: “895 poles entering the UK every day” What kind of climbing frame are we building?

‘Did you just get run over?’ someone asked earlier. ‘Yes,’ I replied flatly.

Carol Vorderman came up to me yesterday and said ”A,E,I,O,U.” I thought ”That’s vowel language.”

My friend Mike picked up a retired Army tank from a military auction last week for 20. He really does drive a hard bargain.

I recently went to a TV survivalist’s barbeque. Thinking i should help out a bit i approached the stove ready to do a bit of cooking when Ray Mears jumped out and said ‘don’t do that, Bear Grylls’

I used to go out with an incredible Indian girl, she was Amay Singh.