Category: wordplay

I had a bowl of maize. It took me an hour to get my spoon back out.

“Are you taking me out on the town tonight?” asked my wife. “Yeh sure.” I replied. At least it’s not on me for once.

I watched these two dwarf guys start throwing punches at each other in the car park today. It was probably the shortest fight I had ever seen.

I’ve always been bad at spelling. Not sure whether it’s nature or nurture.

I was out shopping in Thorntons with my girlfriend and thought I would ‘tickle my fancy’… That’s the last time I’ll do that in a public place.

I Keep getting threatening messages off someone on facebook called “Scrumpy Jack”!! I hate cider bullies!!

I went to night school, so if you ever need to know if its night ask me.

I dig holes and fill them with water. It’s well boring.

“Do or do not, there is no try”. Yoda didn’t last long as our rugby coach.

When I was young my dad always made me sleep with a teddy. I think he owed him money.

The left side of the brain is responsible for speech….mind you it would say that wouldn’t it?

I really love covers of Michael Jackson songs. The 15 tog “Thriller” quilt is my favourite.

There was an explosion at the drill factory where I work. Everyone was in bits afterwards.

My Nan was complaining about her new television today… “I’ve plugged it in and the screen is blank, nothing!” She shouted. “That’s not on” I replied.

I put a gimp mask onto a police animal. I was arrested for perverting the horse of justice.