How come you never see a …
How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Continue ReadingHow come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Continue ReadingI hate walking through revolving doors at hotels. I’m always left feeling disappointed when I emerge and I’m not dressed as a Super Hero.
Continue ReadingMy wife says I’m nothing but a bare faced liar, so I’ve grown a beard.
Continue ReadingSo bored. Tempted to turn myself in for murder I didnt commit, then plead not guilty
Continue ReadingWhat has 2 legs in the morning, 27 legs in the afternoon and 58 legs in the evening? A man who has decided to collect legs.
Continue ReadingWhilst outside a night club I overheard a bouncer saying that he would fight anybody for 200. I said, “I’ll give you a run for your money mate”. He said, “Come on then!” I said, “Okay fatty, first one to the tree wins”.
Continue ReadingTwo grains of sand in the desert, turn to each other and say, “Busy here, innit?”
Continue ReadingI was waiting at the bus stop and put my hand out. Those counterfeit cigarettes are lethal.
Continue ReadingI actually think the BBC iplayer is overrated, It’s just full of repeats.
Continue ReadingI just found a dead cow in my bed. I fear there’s been a moo-der.
Continue ReadingIt was lucky that I went to see a fortune teller today. She warned me that somebody was going to swindle me. I was more than happy to pay for that kind of information.
Continue ReadingWhat with the increasing number of people getting cremated I can’t help but think. The inventor of the coffin must be spinning in his grave.
Continue ReadingHearing people use metaphors to express their mood really rattles my cage
Continue ReadingI’m a member of the illiterate book club. We meet once a week to judge a book by its cover.
Continue ReadingApparently the Flintstones had a very boring game called ‘Rock’ Back then they haven’t invented paper or scissors yet.
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