Category: stupid

BBC News: President Obama meets Prime Minister David Cameron to discuss Big Issues. The country is so broke we are trying to sell the magazine to visiting dignitaries.

I was walking down the high street when a dodgy looking bloke came up and asked me if I could exchange a fake looking 50 Euro note for 30 pound. Did he think I’m stupid? The exchange rate is much better than that so I gave him 40 pound.

I have just put my shoe on and set off to the park with a bag of crisps and a can of pop. It was when I got there that I realised I was a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

As a tramp, I was always being moved on by the plod when sleeping in shop doorways, They don’t move me anymore now though , I tell them I’m queuing early for sales.

My mate just attatched a tennis ball to his radio antena on his car. He must have great service

MSN News : Butchers slam Lady Gaga’s meat That’s a bit graphic isn’t it, msn?

If I learned one thing from watching TV, it’s that radioactivity enables Turtles to speak perfect English.

I was trying to direct a real-life remake of the Hunchback Of Notre-Dame, but the Actor who plays the main role has just called in sick. It’s not all bad news though, luckily, I have a back-up.

Lif is too short.

I went to the bank the other day and asked the cashier for a statement. She said ‘My name is Carol and I work at the bank’.

101km south-west of Dublin…. OH MY GOD…. IT’S KILKENNY!

I went on one of those internet chatrooms once, and I started talking with this teenage girl. We kept coming back to chat again and again, and I happened to mention it was my 17th birthday soon, so she suggested we meet up in real life for the first time. So I went along to […]

I’ve been searching the local field all day for my dog today, but nothing. I feel so sorry for him. Tomorrow I’m going to nail postersto trees with a message saying, ‘Have you seen a red squeaky ball?’

I kicked the kid from downstairs in the face as I thought he was spying on my wife. Turns out he just got a new trampoline.

Have you ever noticed how the top and bottom biscuit’s in the packet are always broken? I don’t know why they bother putting them in.