I went on one of those internet chatrooms once, and I started talking with this teenage girl. We kept coming back to chat again and again, and I happened to mention it was my 17th birthday soon, so she suggested we meet up in real life for the first time. So I went along to meet her, but she ran away from me and called me a disgusting old pervert. Well she’s right, I’m actually 68. But it’s not my fault my birthday’s the 29th of February.