Who’s Billy and why does …
Who’s Billy and why does he have no mates?
Continue ReadingWho’s Billy and why does he have no mates?
Continue ReadingI was with a very beautiful woman last night and you know the old saying “Beauty is only skin deep”? Well it’s true. Because once I’d broken into the chest cavity, things started to look pretty messy after that.
Continue ReadingWhy do hedgehogs curl up in a ball? Because that’s just the way they roll.
Continue ReadingPeople say that what you put in is what you get out. These people have obviously never seen the movie Teeth.
Continue ReadingI’ve just started going out with some anorexic twins, two birds one stone
Continue ReadingThe first rule of Animal Abusers Club is: you do not let the cat out of the bag.
Continue Reading“I’d love to smash your back doors in” i said to my new neighbour as she was moving her stuff in. she went quiet and blushed as I checked how much her TV would fetch on my new Ebay app
Continue Reading”We’ve been in this meeting for 24 hours straight.” ”Let’s call it a day.”
Continue ReadingFor the first half of your life, women tell you what you should do; for the second half, they tell you what you should have done.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Large fire destroys Hampshire Tesco store. I went to help the fire service out and threw a cup of water on the fire. Every little helps.
Continue ReadingI’m not one to blow my own trumpet. Mainly because my ex-wife took it when we got divorced.
Continue ReadingMy mate tried to give me a high-five while on the monkey bars today. I left him hanging
Continue ReadingMy wife just helped me put up our new marque in the garden. “It’s as safe as houses.” She said. “In London.” I replied.
Continue ReadingMy grandfather must be turning in his grave. Because I buried him alive.
Continue ReadingAll that glitters is not gold. A good example of this is glitter.
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