Category: puns

I fancied a pint so I thought I’d try The Not Inn. It was shut.

Michael Jackson’s doctor has been found guilty of manslaughter today. It was a thriller, but they found out he was bad, and eventually told him to beat it.

My boss accused me of not forwarding an email her way. I resent that.

I have recently broke up with the wife. It gets hard when I think of the kids.

A milk jug says to a sugar bowl “Hey, shall we see which one of us can hold the most coffee?” And the sugar bowl says “No way mate, that’s a mug’s game”.

I saw this lad the other day who’d been painted green, and had antenae stuck to the top of his head. Apparently, his friends were trying to alienate him.

Ive just invested my life savings into The Mount Everest Grill House which opens next week. The steaks have never been higher.

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder

As an athlete it is very important that I condition myself right for the up coming olympics. My hair is going to look amazing.

My wife said, “I need some more Botox.” “Why?” I asked. “What’s up with the fat ones you’re sat on?”

Why was the soldier pinned down? He was under a tack

My wife said she’s leaving me because I never make any sense, and thats why I dont like cricket.

Watches – It’s what’s on the inside that counts.

For his birthday I bought my son a large wooden castle, but he hated it. It’s the fort that counts

I have just spent the day up a mountain, standing on a sheer cliff ledge. I love acting the goat.