Category: puns

Support your local search and rescue squad. Get lost

I’ve got a package here but unfortunately it’s addressed to MC Hammer Can’t touch this…

My boss gave me the axe today. I’ve been a Lumberjack for 5 years now, and it only just occurred to him that I require it.

My wife also left me because of my constant animal puns. She just couldn’t Bear it… So she Swanned off… And took the Kids… Well at least I no longer have to listen to her keep rabbiting on…

Today’s national non-fiction day. It’s true.

A good baker will rise to the occasion, it’s the yeast he can do.

I came home last night and caught me wife dressed in my old school uniform. Anyway, I felt a little Krankie.

Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.

I just signed in to this cool new website that I’ve found. Its called ‘LumberJack.com’ But I soon got bored and logged out.

Just seen a huge killer fish playing guitar in the town centre. Think its a busking shark.

My mate asked if I wanted to go to a parade at 5.00 in the morning, but I wasn’t up for it

I found it difficult to get served when I went for a drink with some overachievers last night. They kept raising the bar.

I have become a millionaire from gardening, but I will never forget my roots

I met an ecstatic farmer today He was having a field day

I had an Ice Cream Truck once. It was a sweet ride.