Category: puns

I tried to invent a new type of container which would rival the bucket. It turned out to be a pail imitation

What is grammatically wrong about Santa’s Little Helpers? They’re subordinate Clauses.

Obesity is an increasingly weighty issue nowadays…

My wife said she is leaving me because of my obsession with radiation. I think it is beta that way.

I’m a crossdresser. I get angry when i put on a jumper.

Job vacancy in the local newspaper Do you want to be a part of an expanding contracting company?

The number of words that don’t follow the “I before E” rule is reaching new heights!

Carpet fitting is ok. But it does have its flaws.

I had a camera and, whenever I photographed people, they came out looking bald-headed…it was then I realised that I was using Kojak film.

A bloke said to me, “Aren’t you that bloke that answers every question with a question?” I said, “Who wants to know?”

I thought that I’d never be able to take a stool sample from my reluctant colostomised patient. In the end I managed to pull it out of the bag at the last minute.

I put ham and pineapple into a bap today. Because that’s Hawaii roll.

I play bowling professionally. Naturally I have a lot of spare time

I was at work the other day and a colleague of mine went downstairs to grab us some lemonades. “How many do you reckon I’ll need?” he asked. “I dunno, just bring 7up,” I replied.

My wife told me to fix the front door today. I couldn’t handle it.