Category: puns

I’ve been trying to trace my wifes new dress that I ordered online for her last week. I’ve already used seven pencils and that’s just only a half of it done.

I saw an air ambulance today. Well, it was that, or nothing.

One day I am going to steal a car and drive it like I actually own it.

I listened to a song about frisbees. It was catchy.

BBC News – “Fire crews tackle large blaze at Kent chicken farm” Investigator suspect fowl play.

My horse glows in the dark. He is rodeoactive.

For years people have been telling me I can dish it out but I can’t take it. I’m a school dinner lady with an allergy to mashed potato

LED ZEPPELIN: Much more energy efficient than Plasma Zeppelin

I’m sick of my job at McDonalds. Flippin’ burgers.

In my new post at the recycling plant, I’m melting down all James Brown’s vinyl records. It’s a soul destroying job.

I just finished a book on Mongolian literature. It was okay, I guess. It had its prose and Khans.

Today it was raining cats and dogs. I stepped in a poodle.

Saw a lorry earlier with “Lomas Potatos” on the side. I thought those potatos won’t be very heavy.

I used to own a banana costume but it split.

It’s better to love a short girl than not a tall.