Category: puns

I was raking leaves today. Then I fell out of the tree.

Me and my nostalgia go back a long way.

I used to work in a blanket factory but it folded.

The way to a womans heart is through her purse.

Why are photographers always so depressed? Because they always focus on the negatives.

Unsurprisingly, I fell out with a friend when he axed my family to death. Twenty years in prison and he’s a reformed, repentant man and I’d like bygones to be bygones. I’m meeting him tonight to bury the hatchet.

Does anyone here have a giant catapult? No? It was a long shot..

Jon Bon Jovi is training to become a preist, he’s living on a prayer, Well he’s halfway there

Met a woman in the bar the other night, her second name was nokia, Got slapped when i told her that i had a big ericsson

I see the inventor of WD40 died. May he rust in peace.

Why did the Mafia boss cross the road? Revenge! The road had crossed him the week before.

I joined the Mile High Club the other day. I was blown sky high.

I was completely alone on a boat with nothing but some shrimp and a fishing rod. I decided I should try to Master Bait.

Indie fish go against the main stream.

My son kept saying, “Dad, Dad I’m hot, I’m hot. I need an ice cream. Can I get one please?” He just kept going on and on, so in the end I couldn’t take the whinging any more. I gave in and I got him a Magnum. He used it to rob the ice cream […]