Category: puns

My cousin’s fruit stand at the local market was burnt down by vandals. I’ve never seen a mango so meloncholy before.

I constantly make dreadful clothes for monks. It’s a bad habit.

I always fall for trap doors.

What’s the difference between female comedians and kids? Kids say the funniest things

What’s the best type of bait to take on a fishing weekend? Jail bait.

I just bought a new paper shirt. I don’t like it, it’s tearable.

I dropped my geology degree to start a rock band.

I think all this time at the gym is paying off. Today I managed to stop a double decker bus with one hand.

In France they make their omelets with only one egg. You see, in France one egg is an oeuf

I designed a new type of submarine for the Navy, made entirely out of recycled bubble wrap. Needless to say it didn’t go down well.

What do you call it when a fraud falls from the top of a building? Condescending.

A fire broke out in a Basque movie theatre in northern Spain. Unfortunately, there was only one emergency door, and several people were trampled. It only goes to show that you shouldn’t put all your Basques in one exit.

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A Flat Minor.

In a shock move, the Bowlers Union strikes.

Through meditation I’ve learned that I can control diarrhoea without taking conventional medicines. It’s really easy, just a simple case of mind over splatter…