Category: puns

Never trust a nerd in bed, the only protection he uses is norton anti-virus

I love comic books but I never go to the large gatherings with other fans. I’m very unconventional

There’ll be trouble from a little country in the Middle East soon. Just Kuwait and see.

Ever since my houseboat capsized between Norfolk and Lincolnshire all my clothes have been in the wash.

I saw a girl in the distance. She had horizon me

So sick of that advert for Gillette shaving cream. Yeah, you’re the best, we get it. No need to rub it in everyone’s face.

Got fired from my job making shoes the other day. Not fair, I put my heart and sole into that business.

I have a vested interest in the undergarment world.

I’m not looking forward to waking up tomorrow. Think it’s going to be a real eye opener.

Two archaeologists were at an ice age excavation, when all of a sudden they unearthed an enormous find that was going to take months to clean, dig out safely and protect. They had a mammoth tusk ahead of them.

I just strangled a Mime… with a cordless phone!

A storm has ripped through my coconut farm… I’m desiccated.

I have come to the realisation that I am in fact, a man trapped inside a womans body…. I probably shouldn’t have put the lube next to the glue…

The French burkah ban. i bet they had trouble seeing that one coming.

I was trying to hold a map of a French town in my hand, but kept dropping it. It was Toulouse.