Category: puns

I’m supporting my local vegetarian store. So I bought a stake in it.

I suppose when you’ve seen one lion catch an antelope, you’ve seen a maul.

I used to go out with a girl called Arial. I dumped her. She wasn’t my type.

My phone’s broke. I keep having to give it a tenner every month.

My friend is really interested in magnets. Personally, I can’t see the attraction.

I live off the land In a house boat

I had a fight with a piece of wood yesterday. I decked it.

I’ve never liked windmills. I know that’s going against the grain…

Despite being mute myself, it really frustrates me when I see other mutes trying to communicate with each other. Oh well, I’m not one to talk

My mate asked me, ‘How long is a piece of string?’ ’13 letters in total’ I replied.

Me & my mates had a game of “No Surrender” before. I won hands down.

I just got back from the Hospital, I had to have an operation to remove a Tumor from my brain. I have to say it’s a load off my mind.

I wonder if tiger woods wife is out clubbing tonight

The path between my house and my neighbour’s house is full of rubbish. Litter alley.

Michael Cera has been put on trial with his brother on allegations of murder. The media are calling it ‘case cera cera’