I’m really starting to ha …
I’m really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
Continue ReadingI’m really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
Continue ReadingThat woman who threw a cat in the bin really hurt my felines.
Continue ReadingBirth, the only instance when two heads aren’t better than one.
Continue ReadingAs punishment for my recent puns, the wife made me make dessert; I mixed a combination of tomato paste and icing sugar, ladled it onto a pastry base and served it. “This must have been a lot of effort” She responded drily when served her slice. “On the contrary; it was a pizza cake” I […]
Continue ReadingWhat happens when you do trigonemetry on a sunny day? You get a tan.
Continue ReadingWhen I was a kid I always felt like my parents were out to get me Particularly that time I ran away from home
Continue ReadingI’m setting up a law practice that specialises in defending Paedophiles. To attract business we’re advertising for a barely legal secretary.
Continue ReadingWhenever I look at my wife and her conjoined twin I think: “Now there’s a woman and a half…”
Continue ReadingGot in a fight with a black man today. Beat him blue.
Continue ReadingWhy did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn’t resistor.
Continue ReadingGirls think I’m weird because I count a piece of furniture as my best friend. I guess tonight it’s just me, my shelf, and I.
Continue ReadingFinishing a book is one of the best feelings ever. End of story.
Continue ReadingI got chatting to this girl who’s Siamese twin died during the separation operation. She’s a millionaire now and spends most of her time abroad relaxing on beaches, shopping and dining in expensive restaurants. Oh, how the other half lives.
Continue ReadingArgentina have just brought on Tchaikovsky to try and up the tempo…
Continue ReadingI made a really good citrus fruit that grows underwater It’s sublime
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