Category: puns

What do you call it when someone can’t see, smell, hear, feel or speak? Nonsense.

There’s something wrong with my new thimble. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

The telegraph. Yeah, I’d tap that.

Goodbye to the 100-Watt bulb. You lit up everyone’s lives.

Where did the mathematical dolphin do his sums? Indices.

I have an irrational fear of common German names, I’m extremely Klaustrophobic

I bought my wife some C4 for her birthday. She was blown away.

Who are the most ‘cheesed-off’ pair in London tonight? Gord n’ Zola

Stethoscopes are not for the feint-hearted.

I just can’t stand 2 legged chairs

I’m in a band called FAT32. We don’t do more than three gigs at a time.

I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

I’ve heard a rumour The Wok Inn takeaway down the road is being closed down due to poor hygiene. Could just be Chinese whispers though.

I’ve bought my wife this really unusual lady’s smoking jacket …. It’s made from a lovely long silk cut.

I’ve just seen a man with one eye, three arms, five thumbs, seven fingers and nine toes. He seemed very odd.