Category: money

My bank lets me send a text message and it’ll text back with my balance. It’s a cool feature but I didn’t think the ‘LOL’ was necessary.

An Apache goes into a bank and asks for a loan of 200 dollars. The bank manager asks for collateral: “I have 150 horses,” says the Apache, so the bank manager lends him the money. A month later, the Apache comes into the bank with 2220 dollars in his hand and pays off his debt […]

Finally, my money problems have all gone out the window. Unusually on the same day as my wife did.

BBC: “Bank to bring call centre back to the UK” How about bringing the money back while your at it?

“Okay, that’ll be 20p,” said the cashier as he scanned my Freddo. “What!?” I shouted. “But it says 10p on the wrapper?” “Yes, I know it says that on it, but it is actually 20.” “Fine,” I said, as I begrudgingly handed him the cash. “Ummm, excuse me sir,” the man slid the coin back […]

If I had a penny for every time that I thought that I deserve to be marginally richer than I currently am…

My wife complains that I can never see ‘the big picture’. So I’ve taken out a loan from Wonga.com and bought a 52″ television.

Petrol companies: Make your intentions clear by changing your staff uniforms to stripey jumpers and masks.

My wife is getting angry at me because I apparently ‘jeopardise our financial security by giving away our PIN number’. It’s ridiculous, I mean, does anyone actually know when the Battle of Hastings was anyway?

I like to pay off my drug dealer first before paying any money I owe to the bank. Bank managers don’t generally come round with a couple of gorillas wielding baseball bats.

Why do people always say “That’s the best part of a 1000 gone”? What do they mean ‘best part’? 1000 is a lot of money, there’s not exactly a bad part.

I almost found a fiver on the street this morning. I was 4.99 short.

I was born with ten thousand baby teeth. Which I thought was kind of cool, but my parents strongly disliked it for some reason.

I tried World of Warcraft and an error showed up on my computer. It seems my bank account doesn’t support WoW. It suggests I upgrade my job and try again.

My friends got a real problem with spending his money, he wont buy things even if he really likes or needs them “You should go and see a psychiatrist”, I suggested He replied, “I would but they’re too expensive”