News: Australian Surfer ” …
News: Australian Surfer “Torn Apart” in Horrific Shark Attack. Friends pulled his body from the water – and that’s not even the half of it.
Continue ReadingNews: Australian Surfer “Torn Apart” in Horrific Shark Attack. Friends pulled his body from the water – and that’s not even the half of it.
Continue ReadingThe other day my friend asked me if he should be a Stand-Up Comedian. I said: “No, you should be a Black Man instead.” “Why?” he replied. “Because you steal all your jokes.”
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the detective who lost his luggage? It was a brief case.
Continue ReadingWhen I told my family I wanted to be a stand up comedian they all burst out laughing. I thought well at least its a step in the right direction
Continue ReadingI got stopped by a woman in the street today who tried to tell me a joke – it started off really well. Pain, suffering, abuse, maybe a bit of incest. I didn’t get the punchline though. Something about 2 a month?
Continue ReadingHaringey Council apparently sent a foster child to live with airline bomb plotter Ahmed Ali and his family in Walthamstow. That’s appalling. Fancy sending a child to live in Walthanmstow!
Continue ReadingWhat’s black and looks good on my wife? The bin liners I’ve just wrapped her battered corpse in.
Continue ReadingSon: “Dad, why do people keep asking me for directions?” Dad: “I haven’t the slightest idea Tom Tom.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend just dumped me for endlessly re-using common formats of jokes.
Continue ReadingWhy are mountains so funny? Because they are hill areas.
Continue ReadingAs a kid I always wanted to be a fireman, and I’m so happy to have finally achieved that ambition. And now I’m older I can an even spell it the “adult” way….. Pyromaniac.
Continue ReadingI read in the Daily Mail today that policemen are no longer allowed to say “Sure as eggs is eggs,” in case it offends women with fertility problems. Am I the only one who thinks that any woman that gets offended by that shouldn’t be allowed to have children anyway?
Continue ReadingWhatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend is leaving me for the most ridiculous reason. Apparently I am addicted to cricket. Oh well I suppose we had a good innings.
Continue ReadingHobbies Include running through parks and photography. Well it sounds better then Flashing in the park.
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