Category: joke

My girlfriend sent me a text saying: “You’re overly obsessive.” At 22:12:53, (GMT+1).

What does an experienced rapist & a good punchline have in common? You never see them coming.

My dad is like Adolf Hitler. In that I have never met him.

Ifyou’rehappyandyouknowit,shareyourmeds.

A Native American child walks to his Native American dad and asks him “Dad, why is my younger brother called Full Moon Rising?”, where he replies, “That’s because when I was making love to your mother, the moon was rising, so we called him that”. The child then asks “And why is my sister called […]

My wife doesn’t get irony. Its a game I invented to get crease-less shirts out of her.

I was sitting in a pub up in Scotland and a man bursts through the door and exclaims “A just had me first bairn! and its a wee lad!” and people well congratulating him and buying him drinks and one man in the corner shouts out “so whit ye gunna call yer son?” to which […]

This morning I opened my cupboard to find my underwear fighting. They are boxers to be fair.

I’ve run out of jokes. I’m at my wits end.

What’s full of whites, and ruined by a black? My washing.

Some people think my legs look funny. I should hope so, I do stand-up.

Woke up feeling tired this morning, went and got on the bus took my seat and nodded off. I was woken to loads of people shouting and screaming. I hate my job as a bus driver

My girlfriend complained today that I had a one-track mind. She interrupted my train of thought.

I posed naked for a magazine yesterday. It was very demeaning and I’ve been banned from going near that newsagency again.

What’s worse than a joke without a punchline?