I was thinking about my e …
I was thinking about my ex-girlfriend that used to be a lollipop lady but we broke up because of problems in bed. When i put my stick up we started but we had to stop when she put her stick up.
Continue ReadingI was thinking about my ex-girlfriend that used to be a lollipop lady but we broke up because of problems in bed. When i put my stick up we started but we had to stop when she put her stick up.
Continue ReadingWhy did the chicken cross the road? There was a gas explosion at KFC.
Continue ReadingThe postman handed me a letter this morning and said “I’ve spent twenty minutes trying to find your house, just so I could give you this letter!” I said, “you should have just posted it.”
Continue ReadingI just asked the missus if she fancied an early night. She said, “I doubt you will get in. My database latency is too high!” I’ve not heard that excuse before.
Continue ReadingMay is national egg month and national asparagus month. So i guess its also national “i’d give it 5 minutes before you go in there” month
Continue ReadingPeople are often surprised by the sight of my naked body. And it’s not just because I’m in their child’s wardrobe.
Continue ReadingI got a joke from Orange Plus on my phone today. “What’s a pirates favourite subject? Arrrrrrt!” They seriously need to get on to this website.
Continue ReadingMy friend spends a fortune a week on laundry whereas I just give my clothes to Oxfam. They wash, dry, iron and mend the clothes then I buy them back for 50p.
Continue ReadingThe devil makes work for idle hands. Unlike the job centre.
Continue ReadingThe collective noun for bison is herd, unless they’re on tiptoes – then they’re unherd.
Continue ReadingIrishman walks past a bakers.. sees a sign in the window……….” CHEESE ROLLS two for a 1… He walks in and I see you’ve two cheese rolls for a 1.. How much for one? The girl says 75p. Paddy says, “I’ll have the other one then”
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the chicken that got further than the other side? It was beyond a joke.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a German with a sense of humour? An impostor.
Continue ReadingI always make an effort to treat my step-son in exactly the same way as a I treat my real son. I haven’t got one, so I ignore him.
Continue ReadingI wonder if mothers make ‘Your son’ jokes?
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