I went to my G.P earlier: …
I went to my G.P earlier: “Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a battery.” “Are you positive?” “Yeah” I said, “at one end.”
Continue ReadingI went to my G.P earlier: “Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a battery.” “Are you positive?” “Yeah” I said, “at one end.”
Continue ReadingMy daughters a really good screw. Yes, she’s been a prison officer for five years now.
Continue ReadingI think I have spent too much time on this site. I wasn’t on time for a meeting today and when I got there I apologised for my latency
Continue ReadingThis is a message to all american rappers… This Shawty you mention in every single song seems to be sleeping around with every other rapper I thought i’d mention it because i wouldnt like to see you get your heart broken Kindest Regards xkombatxwombatx
Continue ReadingI always touch really hot things, just to see how hot it actually is. Because I’m a bloke.
Continue ReadingFound a ginger hair in my beard this morning. Which is not good news. Especially as my ginger mate Dave stayed over. And it was a pubic hair.
Continue ReadingI didnt realise i had a broken wallet until finally one day… The Penny Dropped.
Continue ReadingI had to excuse myself from dinner this evening to answer a call of nature. Being Dr Dolittle isn’t all fun and games.
Continue ReadingI was in the pub when a guy called me a cheapskate. So I threw his drink in his face.
Continue ReadingI hate admitting that my jokes have been buried, it sounds so final. I prefer to say that theyve gone on holiday to Brazil.
Continue ReadingYou know sickipedia has turned into a cult when you have to be a regular user to get the jokes.
Continue ReadingNow, I’m sure he’s got too much water for his tea… Thought the Lobster
Continue ReadingI’m a bomb disposal expert. They go in the grey, non recycling bins.
Continue ReadingPaddy and Murphy are sitting on a train one afternoon when this beautiful blonde girl gets on and sits opposite them. “I think she likes you Paddy” whispered Murphy, True enough, the blonde girl began winking and licking her lips at Paddy. As their stop approached, Paddy pulls out a bit of paper, scribbles on […]
Continue Reading“What are you making?” asked the cannibal. “Korean soup,” replied his friend, “Try some.” “That’s nice. How many Koreans did you use?” “Only two. You know what they say… Too many gooks spoil the broth.”
Continue Reading