I told my kid “Those who …
I told my kid “Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.” He replied “Yeah, dad. You’ve told me before.”
Continue ReadingI told my kid “Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.” He replied “Yeah, dad. You’ve told me before.”
Continue ReadingIs it just a coincidence that Barney is a grown man in a costume, his best friend is called BJ and he hangs out with children all day?
Continue ReadingI’m not posh – I’m just jolly good at Polo
Continue ReadingIronik got stabbed last night. A black rapper getting stabbed? He’s certainly living up to his name.
Continue ReadingI just got my head kicked in after having an argument about irony with the fearsomely named “Outlaws” biker gang. Within minutes they fled the scene on their fully taxed and insured motorcycles whilst ensuring they were wearing their crash helmets as instructed to do so under the Road Safety Act 1973.
Continue ReadingOne morning, Harry wakes up and goes downstairs into the kitchen. It’s his birthday. It’s the third day of the third month and Harry is thirty three years old. He notices that the kitchen clock has broken and stopped at 3:30am. On the radio, the weather announces that the temperature is 33 degrees. Opening the […]
Continue ReadingThe definition of irony Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – Fear of long words.
Continue ReadingI saw a sign on my way into a pub last night: “NO CAPS”. Somewhat of a contradiction…
Continue ReadingAnyone else find it ironic how professional boxers need security guards walk them to the ring?
Continue ReadingThe definition of irony: Choking on a lozenge.
Continue ReadingI was on a pub-crawl round town last night and I saw a young man wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the slogan: “I fear no beer”. So I bottled him.
Continue ReadingThe definition of irony: The one night you don’t check under the bed for the bogeyman, he gets you while your parents are out eating tapas. Hey, I resent being called the boogeyman
Continue ReadingI hate these muppets that copy jokes & never think for themselves but still want the credit for it. 6 minutes ago via status shuffle.
Continue ReadingMy son asked me, “what’s an example of poetic justice?” I told him, its like when a woman falls down the stairs, at a battered woman’s shelter.
Continue ReadingA senior Afghan peace negotiator has been shot dead in Kabul, officials say. It was either that, or sack him for gross incompetence.
Continue Reading