Category: holidays

If you’ve ever been single on valentines day, you’ll know what its like to be diabetic at easter..

I switched my wife’s sun lotion for cooking oil. Now my holiday isn’t ruined by having to touch her at night.

Oh I miss being a kid. Listening for the big fat red guy, eagerly awaiting his bulging sack to be unloaded all over. Of course then my uncle would go home and then we got excited about Christmas.

Well I’ve just KISSed my holiday goodbye.

My sister is going on holiday tomorrow. I’m so jealous; Heathrow sounds lovely at this time of year.

I’m taking a gap year next year… …then a nike year, followed by a reebok year.

Remember! Christmas is for months, not just for Christmas.

Me and the wife were going on holiday for a week. When we were packing she turned to me and said “Why don’t we pack each other’s suit cases?” I said “Okay sounds fun.” When we got ourselves checked into the hotel we were staying at, I opened my suitcase to find 3 pairs of […]

They say Santa can’t come while you’re awake. He didn’t seem to have that problem when I sat on his knee when I was 8…

I was arguing with the wife about holidays the other day. I want to go to Morocco, she wants to come with me.

Went to the Canary Islands last year for a week, and I didn’t see a single canary. So, I’m off the the Virgin Islands this year. Can’t wait!

After a terrible six year battle with cancer, my wife lay on her deathbed. Unfortunately I could not make out her last words. You don’t get a very good signal in the Caribbean and the jet ski was a little loud.

My friend bungee jumped off Blackpool pier. I was quite impressed. I would not dare go to Blackpool.

Went on holiday to Australia last week & I was asked at customs whether I had a criminal record “Didn’t know it was still compulsory” I replied.

I’ve just come back from the greatest holiday ever. I’m just reliving the sensation of people watching in complete calm and relaxation by the sea, the hot sun beating down and oblivion of drifting off with the head in a good book … I never did see the wife or her Lilo again, once it […]