Right. Time to turn the f …
Right. Time to turn the festive energy saving lights on. They’ll be ready by Christmas.
Continue ReadingRight. Time to turn the festive energy saving lights on. They’ll be ready by Christmas.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t book my holiday because the sign on the window at the travel agent said: GO AWAY!
Continue ReadingI can’t wait to take the kids trick-or-treating for the first time today! I just hope we don’t knock on their parents house by mistake.
Continue ReadingI went to the travel agent today and the agent said, “Did you know, two out of three people take an holiday in England.” I replied, “Great, I’d like to book a caravan in Cornwall for the wife and her mother, and I’ll have the all inclusive to Barbados please.”
Continue ReadingHow to spice up a beach holiday -Put a fin on your back and pretend to be a shark. -Get out of the water and act mentally handicapped. -Repeat until no one reacts to the sight of a fin. -Unleash a Great White shark into the water. -Sit back and watch the drama unfold.
Continue ReadingFor my Wifes Xmas I booked us a weeks holiday in Sharm el Sheikh. As a wee extra I’ve just signed her up for a 1 week intensive Scuba Diving course.
Continue ReadingI stayed in a really posh hotel. On the back of the door the sign read “In case of fire Gentlemen are required to wear smoking jackets.”
Continue ReadingI look forward to Christmas time every year. It’s a perfect opportunity to get kids on my lap with no questions asked.
Continue ReadingMark Hughes swaps cottage for villa Can’t blame him really it is half term
Continue ReadingMy wife and I are going on a Mediterranean cruise this summer. We’re looking forward to seeing all the famous landmarks, including a new one on this year’s itinerary, the Costa Concordia.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend is all excited after I promised to take her to a little place just north of Paris for Christmas. I can’t wait to see her face when we arrive in Torquay.
Continue ReadingI propose amending the saying The rain, In Spain. Falls mainly, On the plane. to In Brazil, The thunder. Blows planes, Into asunder.
Continue ReadingMy boss just told me that because of my performance this year I’m getting a 10 digit bonus. My own work mobile number.
Continue ReadingI just went on a so called ‘Once in a lifetime holiday’ I’m never going to do that again.
Continue ReadingAfter he failed to pay for my honeymoon to New York, I have fallen out with my father, But when I was out there I decided to be the bigger man, so I sent him a postcard, Of the World Trade Center, Saying ‘wish you were there…’
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