Category: food and drink

If you define radius as “z” and thickness as “a” then the volume of a pizza is: Pi*z*z*a.

I went to a restaurant that served Ethiopian food today, when they brought out my plate it had nothing on it.

You’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties. Eating the entire contents of my fridge because I wasn’t invited again.

I berated a member of staff at McDonalds “You’ve charged me 40 quid for this meal when it says 3.99 on the menu”. “Yes, it’s the Olympic Special” he explained.

Since my wife left, it’s really allowed me to experiment with cooking. Tonight I’m having wraps filled with fish fingers and chocolate spread.

I like to eat fish every day off the week… Baramundi

In a recent survey of ‘food’ that apparently ‘Taste like chicken’, Rat came an easy first, with Frogs legs a close second. KFC’s ‘popcorn chicken’, came last.

I saw a sign in McDonald’s saying, “There’s more to working at McDonald’s than flipping burgers.” At first I was sceptical, but as I retuned to my car I saw a man dressed in a jacket that proudly displayed the words, “Litter patrol”. How wrong I was.

I was eating at an Italian Restaurant and I ordered a Chefs special pizza. When it arrived it tasted awful, so I demanded to speak to the chef himself “This pizza is completely overdone and tastes like cardboard!” I complained. “Scusami?! It is perfection! I Have been cooking this pizza for over 30 years!” He […]

Advantages of working in a bakery: – the delicious atmosphere – never going hungry – finding that hand-kneading dough is a good way to clean your fingernails.

Daily Mail: “Mr Average spends 10,585 hours of his life in the pub” Mrs Average has left a note telling him his dinner is in the dog

My new girlfriend just gagged while trying to seductively eat a banana. She’s dead to me.

I told my wife that I was going to take her out for an anniversary meal tonight and she said, “What, McDonald’s?” I couldn’t believe she thinks I’m so cheap. We’re going to Burger King.

The trouble with all day breakfast is you have to eat it so slowly.

Went to Mc Donalds today and had one of their 1955 burgers. Only another 1954 to go