Category: food and drink

Alcopops and milk make a bowl full of sick.

Just been watching that advert on tv for Patak’s curry sauces… “Patak’s…. The reason Britain loves curry” Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Lager the reason Britain loves curry?

Olives have an acquired taste. Usually acquired very quickly when there’s no other food in the house.

The evidence points to me that I was very drunk last night. Seeing as the ‘magic carpet’ I woke up hugging is a stolen doormat.

I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.

I remember when my Dad caught me with some salmon. He made me smoke the whole packet.

What goes in hard, and goes out limp and dripping? Spaghetti.

do you think in china they have english people delivering fish and chips to their door via moped?

I found two red strips inside my Kit Kat today! I thought it was really special, but it tasted the same.

Enjoy smelting chocolate biscuits? Join the Club.

Men are like coolers; Fill them full of beer and you can take them anywhere.

Bloke walks into a pub with a fried egg on his head. Barman says, “Why have you got a fried egg on your head?” Bloke replies, “Coz, boiled eggs fall off.”

Just found a message in a bottle. It said “keep drinking me and I’ll teach you to dance.” I love wine.

Todays top tip for dealing with a water shortage: If you buy economy bacon from ASDA and cook it on the hob, you end up with a pan full of water.

I hear that spam is making a comeback which I’m really pleased about. I’ve been eating it every day of my life, cooked in a pan with a little bit of oil, but just lately I’ve started to wonder……am I frittering my life away?