Category: food and drink

I love apple juice. If only they made it in some sort of solid, portable form…..

I had to ring up the Walkers customer care line earlier as there was a crisp in my pack of ready salted air.

I don’t really like spiced chicken but I’ll have it on o-cajun.

The closest I’ve come to murder is holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop.

Well I was going to drink Magner’s cider irresponsibly, but in the top right hand corner there was a tiny sign in white writing which read ‘Drink sensibly’. So I did.

“Dr Pepper, what’s the worse that can happen?” ‘Well you might not be able to have any kids.’

Sleep is like coffee for people who have too much time on their hands.

We had an Indian take-away delivered last night, Now the fridge stinks of curry. I guess we should dump the body before they start looking for their driver.

What do you do if a restaurant serves you bad dumplings? Suet

Now I’m not going to brag, but the chips I make at my chip shop are so good they’ve been in The Mirror, The Sun and many other newspapers.

Just looked at the label on a packet of ham i bought, it read ‘70% water’. Surely then it’s ham flavoured water.

I’ve been watching a TV series about how fish live their lives…. I’m totally hooked.

Beans, alphabet spaghetti for the blind.

When ever I eat out at McDonald’s, I like to have a Happy Meal… So I leave the wife and kids at home.

Someone told me I was intabred and I agreed. I do like bread.