Category: fashion

I’m so un-hip, I can’t even get into a club foot.

BBC news: In the trial of Stephen Lawrence the jury were shown the clothes he was wearing on the fateful. A bright blue cardigan, a red polo shirt and a pair of lime green corduroy trousers. He may have been killed by the fashion police.

I used to wear Carbrini clothing…….. then I got a job.

I recently went to a funeral in Liverpool, people were outraged when I turned up in my best tracksuit… They’d all came in casual ones.

I’m not happy with this new Origami clothing. It always looks creased no matter how carefully I fold it.

I always get really frustrated trying to put clothes in my wardrobe. Think I could do with some Hanger Management.

Topman website: Ways to wear Chinos. I’ve got a hunch that “On your legs” is going to be up there.

I went to the police station in a top hat, bow tie and flippers. They said I should ‘make a statement’.

There is a thin line between looking indie and looking homeless.

A Kappa tracksuit. The closest You’ll ever get, to two naked women.

Don’t blame peer pressure, it makes fat mongs eat less and wear makeup

Flares are being thrown outside Top Shop in Oxford Street. Didn’t know they still stocked them.

Cesc Fabregas has secured a new sponsorship deal since his move to Barcelona A 5 year deal with bench.

Bald people face discrimination. One guy told me he “can’t help my kind,” and asked me to leave his shop! He was an awful barber anyway.

Just bought a coat with elbow patches, I didn’t even know they were legal tender.