Category: family

A couple of years ago we had a big family party at my Uncle Tims house At this party was a giant buffet which included this giant chocolate cake At the end of the buffet, half of this delicious cake was left I looked over at my grandfather who had a big smile on his […]

I recently rediscovered my youth.. Decomposing in the Cellar.

Had my wife reminded me of condoms, my daughter wouldn’t be expecting a baby.

I’ve just seen an ad saying, “If your Dad was having a stroke, could you tell?” I couldn’t help think… ‘well he was until I was 12 and he made it perfectly clear what would happen if I told’.

Men want 3 things in a woman: An artist in the home, an economist in the kitchen and a devil in bed. What they actually get is: A devil in the home, an artist in the kitchen and an economist in bed!

I asked my nephew what he wanted for his birthday and he asked for a Bat mobile… Well unbeknownst to me, one of them was still alive when I hung it over it his bed.

My wife told me her mother was coming over and asked me to be nice to her. ‘I’m always nice!’ I protested. ‘What about last week when she asked if you would get her a drink of water?’ She asked. ‘Did I not get her a drink of water?’ I asked in reply. ‘Yes.’ She […]

As I looked out of my bedroom window at the snow I thought to myself, “How can something so beautiful be so cold in nature and cause misery to everyone but four year old boys…” …Then I remembered my ex-wife.

When I was younger, my dad used to show me pictures about why it’s important to always wear a condom, Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me.

I would always put my kids first. Especially if there was a car coming towards us.

Last night I played FIFA 11 with my kid and beat him. It’s his own fault, he should have lost.

I was in the shower this morning and noticed on my shampoo bottle that it bragged ‘Bigger size, better value!’ Shame it doesn’t work that way with the wife.

My husband wanted a campervan. So I had his white van spray painted pink!

Ronaldo’s sister spoke of his new born son….. “He looks like Cristiano and he looks like me.” No prizes for guessing who the mother is then

At times like these I look back to what my late uncle would always say Sorry, I missed my bus