Category: family

relatively speaking……..im your cousin

I give my wife rights, she gets to choose which hand I hit her with.

What do you call an orphan’s family tree? A stump.

My wife left me because she said i just don’t undestand her…. To be honest i dont know what she’s talking about.

I killed, cooked and ate my mother in law yesterday. Just one of the many advantages of being married to a chicken.

Me and my girlfriend were discussing the things we have in common the other day, it turns out thers quite a lot. The same colour eyes We like the same genre of music We went to the same school We even found out we have the same dad…

Both my grandads are completely different from eachother. I call my mum’s father “Early Grandad” because no matter where we go or what we do he is always the first one there. I call my dad’s father “Late Grandad” because he’s dead.

Me: ‘Dad, can I go to bathroom?’ Dad: ‘ Kiran, MAY I go to the bathroom?’ I don’t care if it’s fathers day, I asked first

When I was 15 my parents told me I was adopted. And that I would be meeting my new parents that afternoon.

My grandad asked me what I wanted for my birthday so I told him a ship in a bottle… Shame his hearing is getting bad

My wife left me, telling me I’ll never see our kids again. Finally after 5 years we agree on something.

Mothers day,the most confusing day of the year for the male members of norfolk.

Me and the wife had a play fight this morning. she threw hamlet but my Tempest really knocked her for six

Watching The Nightmare Before Christmas has become a tradition for our family at this time of the year. I hate having a meal at the in-laws.

I slipped my whole hand inside my sister’s furry little hoop earlier. I had no idea you could stretch a hair bobble that big.