Category: circus

If red bull gave me wings I’d hover above a farm and mock chickens

I used to get this funny feeling when I was a kid. I was molested by a clown on a daily basis.

“Try walking in my shoes” said the clown.

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire. “But you can’t!” protested the boss. “Where am I going to find another man of your calibre?”

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler.

A man decides to join the circus.The ringmaster agrees to watch his act in the big top to see if he is suitable. The man climbs a tall tower and jumps off flapping his arms wildly.After a few seconds his fall slows and he soars forward,swoops up,turns and stops in mid air then gently glides […]

A clown was taking the mickey out of me earlier so I said to him, ‘you’re dead, funny!’ He said, ‘thanks.’ So I shot him in the chest.

I was looking through the employment section of the paper today and saw a vacancy for an acrobat, I thought, perfect, I could do that standing on my head..

My girlfriend is leaving me because she thinks I’m a buffoon. So, with a heavy heart, I selected the most depressing of my ‘unhappy horns’ and honked the saddest of honks. “Honk”.

I’ve been walking on a tightrope ever since I had an argument with my boss. I don’t care if he owns the circus, I’m supposed to be the bearded lady.

I started my new job as a clown today, and I found my feet immediately. Not surprising, really, they’re bright red and absolutely enormous.

My eight year old son told me there was nothing scarier than a clown. One night, whilst he was sleeping, I hung a dead clown above his bed. Safe to say, I won that debate.

I just saw this idiot with bright red hair, going down the road on a unicycle whilst juggling. What a clown!

My new girlfriend is a tightrope walker. She keeps asking me to check her equipment and repair it if there is a fault. I am enjoying our relationship but I didn’t realise it would be so high maintenance.