Category: animals/insects

What do you get if you cross an African with a chimpanzee? Ten years imprisonment for contravening section 3 of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 1990.

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.

What do you call a pig in an oven? Pork.

So when a chameleon becomes really aggressive and angry it changes colour to black? Surprise, surprise…

You can’t keep a good dog down… unless it’s been at the pound too long.

Golden Retriever Saves 11-Year-Old Boy From Cougar.” Good for the dog! These women really need to find men their own age.

I’ve just spilled spot remover on my dog. Luckily, Rover suffered no ill effects.

I was looking through the Auto Trader at cars trying to decide what car we should get next. My wife said, “Why don’t we get an Estate for the dogs?” I said, “What for? They can’t drive.”

Living near a gypsy site, I’ve become quite a good shot with my air-rifle. Earlier I hit four horses on the trot.

I went to the Zoo the other day. I think someone needs to tell those meerkats that everything is going to be okay.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You are obviously not listening.”

A dog isn’t just for Christmas, put a nice pair of rabbit ears on its head and it can also make a great novelty pet for Easter too.

My wife wanted to name our new dog ‘On’. So I called it off.

I read a headline in the news paper today ‘Tiger savages trainer’ I thought to myself, Tiger Woods is getting out of hand now first the cheating and now this.

Trust me never mix skunk with acid. You’ll never be allowed back in that zoo again.