Category: animals/insects

Animal instincts are amazing. The mice in our house always know when my wife’s mother is about to visit – they throw themselves on the traps.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wandered out of my farm on FarmVille.

I cant help but feel sorry for those dying souls floating around in that putrid horrible infected water! Poor rats!!

‘…I’m teaching my dog to meow. I think it will help him if he has a second language’.

I had a terrible first day running my new store, the stock flew off the shelves. I should probably get bird cages for my pet shop.

Why there could never be great black sharks? They would drown instantly.

‘Save the Polar Bears’ Why? If we were in their position, what would they do. Eat us.

Surely cows would live longer if they werent made of steak and leather jackets

I love a good game of ‘Hungry Hippos’. But I had to stop playing when I lost my job at the zoo after 3 of them starved to death.

The doctor said to the patient, “You owe your life to that dog. It pulled you to saftey.” The patient asked, “Where is the dog now?” “Unfortunately there’s no sign of the dog – or your arm.”

Give a man a fish, and he will probably raise several questions about your mental well being.

What does a centipede invest in? The ftse100.

I felt sick after eating a Yorkie earlier. Too much fur.

It took me an hour to bury my cat , it wouldn’t stop moving.

Woman on the bus said to me, “Your fly is down.” I said, “I know, I’m taking him to see his psychologist.”