Category: animals/insects

BBC News: Postman bitter after dog attack. I think it’s spelt bitten isn’t it?

What’s yellow and tastes of bananas? Monkey sick.

Did you hear about the panda who lost his food? He was Bamboozled…

I’ve finally figured out a way to get my dog to do as I tell him… I tell him to do what he wants.

I have always wanted to walk into an animal hospital with a fur coat on and say “There, sort that lot out!”

Saw a crocodile in a tuxedo the other day. I thought, what a snappy dresser.

I thought I saw an Alpaca in a field today, but it turned out to be something slightly different. False a llama.

Puppies all look cute and act adorable. But has anyone ever investigated their repeated involvement in child abduction cases?

Just lost my virginity to a wasp. I’m buzzing.

A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his arms when a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing with the chimp. “I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children; so he’s going to live with us – just like one of the family. He’ll […]

I was watching “Finding Bigfoot” on Animal Planet. I’m guessing these guys aren’t getting paid per bigfoot found.

“Made with dolphin friendly tuna” That’s a relief as I really don’t like eating nasty tuna.

I saw a badger dead on the road the other week, my mum got really emotional about it, so I told her a joke: “why did the badger cross the road?” “why?” “I don’t know, he never got around to telling me why.” ba boom.

I got into a fight in the vets waiting room today when my badger bit someone. I got a cut above my eye and a fat lip, but you should see the otter guy.

Say ‘No!’ to animals in Circuses. And, if that doesn’t work, beat them and smack them with your whip so they’ll know who’s boss!